I Can’t Do This Anymore

can't do this anymore
I have 99 problems,
And 97 are not even mine.

I’m better off without
Your everlasting problems.

All that caring for you
Brings is heartache and tears.

And all it takes is a cold heart
To leave you out in the rain.

I have all the reasons
To turn a cold shoulder.

I can’t keep caring for you,
I can’t do it anymore.

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Mountains of Loneliness

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There are mountains
Of loneliness between
Our bruised hearts.

Alone together,
Should that be comforting?
Not in the least.

Should I pretend
Not to know what’s going on
In that dark mind of yours?

Maybe I should,
For my own sanity.
But I don’t care for that.

I try to knock reason
Into my foolish heart,
It needs to listen.

A broken heart
Can’t mend another,
I tell myself.

So excuse me
As I pick up my pieces
And glue them together.

I’ll be right there
To pick up your pieces,
So darling be patient.

A Stranger to Myself

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I don’t know her,
The person
I used to be.

And don’t offer
To introduce us;
I’m better off this way.

I never thought
I’d make it this far;
It still feels unreal.

Looking back,
I’m not sure
How I lived.

There was blood
And tears, and difficult
Is an understatement.

I almost reached the end,
Each time more
Painful than the last.

But I made it,
And I get to
Tell the tale.

I’m living proof
That it can get better,
After years of melancholy.

The Child in Me

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There’s enough room
In my heart to love all;
Forcing me to choose
Is undoubtedly heartless.

I have no room
For your discrimination,
Thirst for control,
And baseless accusations.

So If someone must leave,
I’m least afraid of your leaving.
Need I remind you of your injustice
And unimaginable cruelty?

Causing me pain
Is what you’re skilled at,
And I haven’t yet learned
How to numb it.

And I might be least afraid
Of your leaving, but I still fear it.
The child in me still begs
For your approval.

And the child in me
Is disappointed in you
Every time you speak,
With every word you utter.

Lost Without You

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I find myself reminiscing
About when we formed
An unmatchable force;
We were two halves,
But we made a whole.

While the world around us
Was being set on fire,
We didn’t care to look;
All that mattered was
That we had each other.

It has been a while,
And so much has changed,
Yet it pains me to say,
My feelings remain the same,
Although I wished them to fade away.

I assumed that un-nurtured
By reciprocated feelings,
They would slowly die away,
But that hasn’t been the case;
And I’m stuck in the same place.

Death in Spirit

condolence
The dead are not always buried;
Sometimes they are alive in body,
Though their spirit is gone.
They walk among us as corpses.

I was once a walking corpse,
Having lost my soul and purpose.
It was not a fact obvious to most,
But it was frightening to observe.

I still remember when you mourned
The death of me in my presence.
There were tears in your eyes,
And I too knew that I was gone.

Little did I know that I was a fighter,
And that I was destined for revival.
So to all those who are skeptical,
Let me assure that it can get better.